Jonathan Sibley's Coaching & Psychotherapy Blog
Overcoming Immunity to Change Coaching Can Help with Pesky New Year's Resolutions
Do you have New Year's Resolutions that you are still working on, or that you have already given up on? Are there changes you've been meaning and hoping to make for months, or even years? Often, it's not as much about motivation as about what's been getting in the way.
Harvard professors Bob Kegan and Lisa Lahey have developed an extremely effective method for dealing with behaviors and problems that are difficult to change. They call this method "overcoming immunity to change".
When we say "If I were you...."
Have you ever thought about what we mean when we way "If I were you, I'd..."?
If I were truly you, wouldn't I do just what you did?
What if we changed the words around and said "If you were me, you'd..."? If you were me, of course you'd do what I would do. The "problem" is, that you aren't me. In fact, if we can remember that, since we are different people, we are quite likely to have different preferences, beliefs, and assumptions, it is less likely to come as a surprise when someone acts differently than we would.
Jonathan Sibley Receives Grant from Harvard Institute of Coaching
Jonathan Sibley and co-researcher Tatiana Bachkirova have received a $25,000 grant from Harvard Medical School's Institute of Coaching to study the inner workings of coaching.
Through this research, working with international panels of expert coaches, we will create a standardized instrument to describe what actually occurs during coaching sessions. This will allow comparisons between different styles of coaching as well as a description of the factors that all forms of coaching share.
In Treatment - Great TV, but as for the therapy...
The second season of In Treatment, with Gabriel Byrne, got started last night. Once again, it is a combination of interesting drama and therapy that is quite different from the therapy I think tends to be most helpful.
Once again, Paul, the therapist, seems more intent on telling his client what she might be feeling, thinking, and what he thinks she needs to do than on helping her to experience her own feelings and to feel safe and secure enough to share them with him.
Almost April - How are those New Years Resolutions Coming Along?
Every year, many of us make New Year's resolutions with every intention of this being the year that we will follow-up. Every Spring, millions of resolutions are discarded once again, waiting for the following year to be picked up once again.
Why is it so difficult to make progress on these pesky efforts to change? As mentioned in a previous post, Kegan and Lahey have some answers, as well as a methodology to help us make progress.
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Kegan and Lahey's Immunity to Change - action oriented developmental coaching
Kegan and Lahey have just published Immunity to Change - How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization. I think it is brilliant.
Kegan is the author of an adult developmental theory which I have found extremely useful. It dates back to 1982, with revisions to the theory in the 1990s (e.g., In Over Our Heads). In 2000, he wrote "How the We We Talk can Change the Way We Work" with Lisa Lahey. This was an extremely helpful book for promoting change but without a clear, direct link to the earlier developmental stages.
Throwing Sheep in the Boardroom and Executive Coaching
Soumitra Dutta spoke to INSEAD alumni at MTV studios yesterday about ways companies are now using social networking to reach out to customers.
One of the questions that came up was how leaders can be helped to develop an online presence and, for example, whether senior leaders should be blogging or whether that is too dangerous.
For a leader to be successful at more direct, less-screened contact with the broader world, any blind spots that the leader has about himself or herself can become dangerous.
Some initial thoughts on choosing between coaching and psychotherapy
Sometimes, it may not be clear to which whether coaching or psychotherapy would be more helpful. Here are two diagrams explaining how I currently see the relationships between wellness, coaching, and psychotherapy.
Coaching & Psychotherapy as we enter 2009 - How far have we come?
